Paul Yang, MD., Ph.D.



Title: Seeking Harmony Within: Navigating Anxiety, Relationships, and Self-Discovery


Ms. X, a 72-year-old retired Hispanic woman, has been grappling with anxiety and depression, particularly during her husband's absence. Feeling the weight of loneliness and a lack of appetite, she finds herself in a state of irritability and impatience. Seeking solace, she spends her time sitting in the backyard, observing the birds. However, she often finds herself lost in thought, feeling disconnected from the present moment. As we delve deeper into her experiences, she reveals her growing intolerance towards certain individuals in her life.


One such person is her brother-in-law, Jack. Ms. X expresses discomfort with his overly tight hugs, causing her to distance herself from him. Additionally, she harbors disapproval towards her friend Julie, who has been critical of her new girlfriend. Julie's constant questioning and nitpicking over minor issues have strained their relationship, ultimately leading the girlfriend to feel trapped and decide to leave. Ms. X finds herself frustrated with Julie’s actions, lamenting on her loss of a potentially fulfilling connection.


Ms. X admitted to having mixed feelings about her husband, particularly when he made fun of her or laughed at her expense, causing her pain. To help her overcome this negativity, I guided her to focus on her husband's positive qualities, such as his reliability and responsibility. This discussion highlighted the importance of embracing the complexities of human nature, as everyone possesses strengths and weaknesses. I also encouraged her to seek positive attributes in others, including her friends and family, rather than seeking perfection, which only leads to disappointment. Through this conversation, Ms. X gained a deeper understanding of her emotions and developed a more balanced perspective on relationships.


To liberate herself from the limitations of dualistic thinking, I guide Ms. X towards reconnecting with spacious awareness and embracing both polarities with compassion. I emphasize that the spacious mind serves as the center where she can access unconditional peace and love. I encourage her to see beyond the strengths and weaknesses of everyone. I remind her that within the positive, there can be elements of negativity, and vice versa. Drawing on the concept of yin and yang, I encourage her to identify the positive traits (yang) within her husband's negative aspects (yin). As she reflects, she recognizes his humor and his ability to bring laughter into their lives. I stress the importance of refraining from passing judgment on either the positive or negative aspects, but rather accepting and holding everything as it is, allowing her to find solace in a state of inner peace.


In conclusion, Ms. X's journey highlights the universal struggles we face in navigating anxiety, relationships, and self-discovery. Her story reminds us to embrace the complexities of human nature, accepting both the positive and negative aspects within ourselves and others. By practicing self-care, self-compassion, and finding our center, we can cultivate inner peace and resilience. May her experience inspire us to approach our own journeys with grace, understanding, and a willingness to embrace the light and shadows that shape our lives.


Keywords: anxiety, depression, loneliness, self-discovery, relationships, inner conflicts, unconditional peace, accepting complexities, yin and yang, embracing both sides.